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It’s all fun and horticulture until your alien cabbage eats your dentist.

Rosemary Norwood and her husband, Sean Cadman, began growing what they understandably believed would grow into an average-sized cabbage. The whole thing very quickly turned into a “Feed me, Seymour” situation, and they ended up a cabbage that looked thirsty for human blood. Perhaps I’m just overly suspicious of any larger-than-average flora due to a fondness for Rick Moranis, but tell me this leafy green doesn’t look at all sinister:

Fortunately for all of us, the Tasmania, Australia couple has managed to kill the man-sized cabbage, feasting upon its carcass for a full three weeks.

Did this week mark your own metaphorical triumph over a prodigious vegetable?