No one has asked me to identify the first great work of Biden-era art. Nevertheless, I persist: It is this video of Suzanne Somers dealing with a home intruder during a livestream in which she repeatedly breaks the fourth wall to silently mug for the camera as if to say “Mamma mia!”, “Oh, brother!”, and “Can you believe this guy?”
Some context: On Friday, the legendary sitcom actress of Three’s Company and Step by Step fame hosted a makeup tutorial for her fans, TMZ reports, which she streamed live from her home over Facebook Live. It would appear as if she’s outside, possibly in the backyard of her 25-acre Palm Springs estate, which she’s currently listing for $8.5 million, though I’m not exactly sure.
At some point during the Live, Somers tells her off-camera husband, Alan Hamel, that she thinks she hears someone. “Over here,” says the unseen intruder, who identifies himself as Aaron Carpenter. She spends the next minute and a half calmly talking to Carpenter, who explains that “ghosts” (or “goats”?) chased him up there. He offers her a gift, which she declines. “You seem like a very nice person, but you shouldn’t be here,” she tells him. Finally, he takes the hint.
The whole ordeal would be horrifying to witness (even typing it up here, I’m like “Harron, what’s wrong you????”) if not for how Somers keeps breaking the tension with her straight-to-camera deadpanning. If a home intruder broke into my home while I was doing a makeup tutorial for my fans, as one does, I really don’t think I’d have the wherewithal to give my viewers all 36 of my famed expressions on top of trying to ask the intruder to kindly get the hell out of my house. But Somers did! I am truly in awe. Get this woman back on TV!