Saturday Night Social: Shout Out to These Cakes I'll Never Make

By Harron Walker | October 31, 2020 | 10:32pm

Entertainment

Saturday Night Social: Shout Out to These Cakes I'll Never Make

This past week, my executive function has been utterly shot. I can’t imagine why! Thankfully, my fortunate position as a laid-off freelancer who still makes enough money (though no healthcare!) working on the weekends to cover my relatively low monthly rent has allowed me ample time to fall down YouTube hole after YouTube hole to my heart’s discontent like some kind of depressed modern-day version of those kids from the first Narnia book. The first one chronologically, I mean. You know, the one with the rings and the puddles and shit? I believe there might have been pears?

Anyway, I’ve spent many a void-staring hour dropping head-first down the archives of erstwhile BuzzFeeder Safiya Nygaard, who seems to be wildly popular for someone who has never once tried to cancel or been canceled by Jeffree Star. A lot of her videos involve her buying everything at a store (all the soaps at Lush; all the candles at Bath & Body Works; all the lipsticks at Sephora; all the cake mixes in the cake mix aisle…) and mixing it all together for…well, for no real reason at all. Does the world need to know any of this? Who cares! All I know is that my head has never felt emptier, and I am liiiiiiiiving (dying). I’ve also enjoyed(?) all the mind-numbing, anxiety-soothing hours I’ve spent watching The Icing Artist make cakes that look like crayon boxes while extolling the virtues of a crumbcoat, whoever she is. These cakes all look amazing. Perhaps I’ll make one tomorrow! No, I probably won’t. I’ll probably just make one (1) egg. Enjoy.