Patti Harrison is one of the funniest people alive. For examp: Not too long ago, she pretended to be the official Twitter accounts for Nilla Wafers and Chips Ahoy to make it look like those popular cookie brands (and brand ambassadors Sia and Vanessa Hudgens) were saying a bunch of unhinged bigoted shit like “There are only two genders” and “If you are bisexual, we do not want your business.” Not only was it an expert troll of the deeply whatever pro-trans statement posted by Oreo on Feb. 25 (“Trans people exist.”), it also skewered the idea that a corporate brand could even be pro-trans in the first place, thereby revealing such efforts for the cynical business decisions that they are.
Anyway, Patti got suspended from Twitter, which sucks! But maybe it was all worth it because now the comedian—who you might recognize from Shrill, Search Party, and apparently that new Disney movie Raya and the Last Dragon—is using that TikTok account she hasn’t touched in months, and the results are so gooddddddddd. My favorite video so far is the one where she tells a “Be careful who you call ugly in middle school”-type story about how her elementary school principal kidnapped every girl except her because he said she was too plain. “Well, who’s plain now?” she says, revealing her current hot self over Alice Deejay’s “Better Off Alone.” “Sounds like Mr. principal’s never heard of a glo up.” But because Kinja won’t let me embed TikToks directly into a blog, I leave you with my second favorite: her beautiful duet with the McDonald’s brand account.