I’m not high! You’re high! But more to the point, what’s up with these croissants?
I was watching this new New York Times video starring Claire Saffitz—the baker and ex-Bon Appetit Test Kitchen star slash digger of some of the best YouTube holes I’ve ever fallen down—wherein she teaches the viewer how to make, quote, “perfect croissants,” and I? Have questions.
Watching the video, I can’t say she didn’t—make perfect croissants, that is. The three flaky pastries—plain, chocolate, and almond—do indeed look perfect. But do they look too perfect? I feel they might look too perfect. They’re just so...round and curled over. They look great, but who are they?
I’ve only ever seen croissants like this at coffee shops I’ve worked at that received pastry deliveries from the same pastry delivery service as every other coffee shop in Brooklyn. Is that just what happens when you make your dough from scratch? When was the last time you saw a deflated li’l pop-tube Pillsbury puffer in the wild? Did they ever exist in the first place? Have I been Berenstain’d again?