August, with its aggressive sun and too-long days, makes me completely worthless, scrolling other people’s vacation Instagrams in my underwear for far longer than I should and telling myself I’m going to get up and go outside in five more minutes on a loop until September finally comes to rescue me. Diane Hoffman, a 91-year-old runner, does not have this problem as she is a lightning-fast, world-record-breaking badass and perhaps my inspiration for leaving the couch sometime soon.

Last week at the U.S. Track and Field New England Open & Masters Championship in Worcester, Massachusetts, Hoffman set a new world record in her age group for the 400-meter sprint, running it in 2:44:25, which bested the previous record of 2:46.56. She also set new U.S. records for the 100-meter and 200-meter sprints.


Hoffman, a tennis player, began competing in track events after her son noticed she was fast as hell:

“‘I don’t know! My son wanted to me to run...I don’t run, I am tennis player!’” Hoffman said after hearing of her wins, according to USATF. “‘I guess tennis helped. I always played at the net, going like this, and this...That way no balls could get past me!’” she added, mimicking tennis racket swings.”

Right on, Diane, you are a marvel to those of us sitting in front of their window units struggling to find the energy to put on pants.

How were your weeks? Record-setting?

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