Saturday Night Social: Area President Still Alive I Guess

Despite what many people on Twitter might be hoping for, Donald Trump does not appear to have succumbed to his covid-19 infection.

The president, who famously eats ass in the bad metaphorical way, has been tweeting all afternoon, apparently making good on the White House’s promise that he would continue doing what he does every day without interruption, as the Associated Press had previously reported.

“Doctors, Nurses and ALL at the GREAT Walter Reed Medical Center, and others from likewise incredible institutions who have joined them, are AMAZING!!!” Trump tweeted on Saturday. “Tremendous progress has been made over the last 6 months in fighting this PLAGUE. With their help, I am feeling well!”

He followed that up with a mostly all-caps tweet about how “OUR GREAT USA WANTS & NEEDS STIMULUS,” which gave me major déjà vû to all the deranged, caps-locked, intravenous oxycodone drip-induced tweets I sent out after having surgery in May.

Despite Trump’s claims that he’s “feeling well,” the president’s doctors warn that he’s not out of the clear just yet.

“The president’s vitals over the last 24 hours were very concerning and the next 48 hours will be critical in terms of his care,” White House chief of staff Mark Meadows told The New York Times. “We’re still not on a clear path to a full recovery.”

The future appears to be similarly murky for Republicans in the Senate, who had previously seemed positioned to confirm judge Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court well before November’s election thanks to the party’s 53-seat majority in Congress’ upper house.

After three different Republican senators—Thom Tillis of North Carolina, Mike Lee of Utah, and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin—tested positive for covid this week, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell sent an email on Saturday demanding that all GOP senators return to work in about two weeks’ time.

“The Senate will go into pro forma session until Oct. 19,” the email reads, per CNN. “On that day, we will need all Republican Senators back and healthy to ensure we have a quorum [to confirm Barrett].”