Sam Bee Returns With A Blistering, Gleeful Take on Donald Trump Russia, 'Golden Showers' Allegations

Screengrab via Facebook
Screengrab via Facebook

Sam Bee returned to the Full Frontal stage for her first show in 2017, which just happened to coincide with the recent allegations of Donald Trump’s shady dealings in Russia and alleged urine fixation. Lucky for her and even luckier for us, she also had his disastrous press conference as rich, bountiful material. With a healthy dose of incredulity and a lot of verve, she took both on, guns blazing.


“Hallelujah! It’s comedy Christmas!” she exclaimed, before diving into the unsubstantiated rumors with the unfettered joy of a kid ripping into a pile of presents. Making sure to note numerous times that the reports of the President-elect’s predilection for pee are both unverified, “ludicrous” and possibly “bullshit,” she admitted that “The only verifiable thing about this report is how much joy it gave me.”


She continued: “It also claims the Trump campaign colluded with the Kremlin, which would be a capital offense, but oh my God, DJT likes to douse beds in floozy pee!”

Both the pee part and the Russia part of the allegations are still unverified, but the fact that we’re facing four years with a man about whom these allegations feel plausible is worrisome to say the least.

She concluded the opening segment by saying, “While it’s fun to watch a livid orange Julius explain that he can’t be into water sports because he’s a germaphobe, we may have witnessed what the history books will call the end of America’s tradition of a free press,” before cutting to Trump’s flappy-jawed silencing of CNN reporter Jim Acosta.

“We can only hope that the incontinent sex-worker frosting draws attention to the report’s less delicious details about Russia manipulating our president,”she said in conclusion. “After all, as the old Disney song goes, a spoonful of hooker urine helps the treason claims go down.”

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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At least we have a President-Elect who’s a real wiz....

But the mere fact that he felt the urge to allude to the golden shower allegation shows some pressure building in himself to release. I’m sure he must have squirmed, worried about it leaking before he could release his own comments.


Of course, on a serious note, this is truly awful. We have a President-Elect about whom we can actually say about an allegation of him having a Russian golden shower party with prostitutes, and our reaction is: yeah, it’s plausible.

And even worse, it stole the show from the actual possible treasonous acts, and the huge conflicts of interest, and his threats to freedom of the press, and a host of other issues that should have disqualified him from ascending to the office.