Ciara, who is definitely married to a cool guy, has shared with the world just how not uncool football playin’ husband Russell Wilson is—via Instagram, with 11 of her own definitions of what makes a man “cool.” Wilson, who was not available to comment, presumably lifted his black top hat to a tilt at the gesture, as if to say, “Top’o the mornin’, haters!”

She captioned the post with “Cool is in the eye of the beholder. What are some qualities you see as COOL? #LevelUp.” COOL! Check it out:

You may be wondering, Why does Ciara need to tell me Russell Wilson is cool? He’s definitely not, but he’s certainly a step up from Future in the partner department. Listen—I agree. As Page Six points out, the timing is kinda suspect: less than a week ago rapper Slim Thug called Wilson a “corny dude,” while describing Future as “cool.” Naturally, Ciara is out here tripping over herself to defend the man she can’t stop fucking. 

#LevelUp, haters!