Image: YouTube

Fire up the morning with this footage, and you will feel as though you just mainlined 17 espressos and also five pounds of coke!! I have seen few things more terrifying than a disheveled Roseanne ripping a butt, groaning, wincing, covering her face, and then bellowing:

“I THOUGHT THE BITCH WAS WHIIIITE GOD DAMN IT! I THOUGHT THE BITCH WAS WHITE! FUCK!”

According to TMZ, the man asking Roseanne the questions is her son, Jake, who appears to be inquiring about a previous video that we have been unable to find. This video, staged as a sit-down studio interview, is titled “Roseanne explains the Valerie Jarrett tweet.”

And now that’s explained.

[TMZ]


I’m not sure why my immediate reaction to the rich being minorly inconvenienced is a silent ahhahahaha motherfuckers, but my day is a bit brighter for the news that a handful of unnamed “VIPs” missed half of Janelle Monáe’s show while they were stuck in an elevator. I hope they were MISERABLE.

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  • Aubrey O’Day will return for the next season of Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars, which seems like a small consolation for...you know. [Us Weekly]
  • This Ariana Grande-Pete Davidson scoop is a job for Gossip Cop. [RadarOnline]
  • Mark Wahlberg is opening a car dealership. [CNBC]
  • We’re really stuck with the hot felon, huh. [The Sun]
  • Thank you, People, for subscribing to Khloé’s app so I don’t have to. [People]
  • “They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me.” [Elle on Twitter]