It’s been a hard year for just about everybody, but Rick Owens, the man who sent penises flapping down a runway in 2015, has created the one outfit I need for the rest of my days. It is pictured above: a sky blue weighted blanket anchored by a solid chain over some pants that appear to have kneepads built in for self-protection, fashion, or both.
The rest of the looks shown at Paris Fashion Week Thursday are relatively uninspiring, though I do love this option for an evening glam.
God love a strong shoulder! The real star of Rick Owens’s fashion show, however, was his wife, Michèle Lamy, who sat in the front row carrying the most inspirational handbag I have ever seen in my entire goddamn life: a lifelike replica of Rick Owens’s head, which contained cigarettes, her cell phone and some loose change.
Remember when Gucci’s nightmare man Alessandro Michele sent Jared Leto down the red carpet at the Met Gala in 2019 carrying a replica of his own head? I think of it often. That head, to my knowledge, was not a functional handbag that could hold a pack of Galouises and a few loose Euros. However, this bag, which is a bag that I now desire, is everything? A Judith With the Head of Holofernes vibe that feels right for this moment, even though acknowledging that a Renaissance painting of a woman holding the decapitated head of a man is a bit too on the nose. I don’t care! I want to fish a Chapstick and my Metro Card out of the head of a man. Any man will do.