Photo: Getty

Pet sharks are the must-have luxury accessory that the fabulously wealthy definitely deserve.

According to an article published in the Wall Street Journal on Sunday headlined “Home Shark Tanks Are In. Just One Problem: Sharks Make Terrible Pets” a group of insolent troublemakers known as “wealthy homeowners” are “installing elaborate aquariums” in the very places they live all so that they can possess dangerous sea predators.

Anyway I find this hilarious—why? Partially because of the tone in which the article is written, which you can probably guess from the headline: trying to appear hip and knowledgable about how weird this is yet simultaneously not know why its weird and also kind of trying to sell sharks to rich people. It’s a really difficult mood to strike and this WSJ article does so deftly.

We learn, for instance, that the shark tanks alone can cost between $15,000 to $1 million, which is both absurd and wasteful, and important information for someone interested in purchasing a shark tank. Also, good news if you have a bazillion extra dollars, owning sharks is totally legal, except for some protected species, which cannot be held in homes.

According to some in the odd menagerie of individuals interviewed for this article, owning a shark is a sexy power turn-on, or something. For instance, Ario Fakheri, a physician and real-estate developer who is at present is casually installing a shark pond in his Los Angeles home, told the WSJ that he’s loved sharks since he was a kid, which is great cause, “Now you control them. It’s payback.” I get it! Sort of a quaint, nostalgic charm, a return to the sweet innocence of loving Jaws.

Advertisement

In conclusion, sounds like a good idea. The self-selecting group of people who want to own sharks definitely should.