Revisiting Reviving Ophelia, the Book That Exposed America's 'Girl-Destroying' Culture
In DepthIn Depth
Graphic: Elena Scotti (Photos: Shutterstock, Amazon)
When psychologist Mary Pipher was working as a therapist in the early 1990s, she began to notice an influx of troubled adolescent girls as clients. These girls, Pipher found, were struggling with eating disorders, abuse, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts—a far cry from what Pipher had experienced in her own adolescence. Fidgety and unhappy to be dragged to Pipher’s office in the first place, these girls didn’t get along with their parents. Parents stressed that they didn’t even know who their daughters were anymore. According to Pipher, these parents had good reason to not recognize their daughters.
“America today is a girl-destroying place,” she wrote in an iconically metal line from her book Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, a collection of case studies of her adolescent clients. Published in 1994 after being rejected by 13 publishers, Reviving Ophelia spent the next three years on the New York Times best-seller list, captivating exasperated parents and curious teens. A dispiriting look at American teen girl culture, Pipher called attention to how girls bend to the needs and desires of mainstream culture to abandon their true selves and take up false selves. “Girls stop thinking, ‘Who am I? What do I want?’ and start thinking, ‘What must I do to please others?’” she wrote.
Girls in Reviving Ophelia were depicted as especially malleable in the face of oppression and a “girl-poisoning” culture. At times they are depicted as literally voiceless. Girls’ “voices have gone underground, their speech is more tentative and less articulate,” Pipher argued. Their ailments, from burning themselves with cigarettes to STDs, were vast. There was Cayenne, a 15-year-old whose dreams of being a doctor in childhood gave way to falling in with a wild crowd, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and contracting herpes. Heidi, a 16-year-old gymnast, became so obsessed with the weigh-ins her sport required that she developed bulimia. And 15-year-old Ellie described being raped by three boys from her school, her father harnessing revenge fantasies. “Some days I leave work thinking that every woman in America has been or will be sexually assaulted,” Pipher wrote.
In 2021, talking openly about teen girls’ well-being in the face of a hostile culture is mainstream. What teenagers struggle with—eating disorders, sexual assault, bullying—is plastered on the walls of TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram for anyone to see as girls can now speak for themselves. Teenagers like Emma Gonzalez, Greta Thunberg, and Mari Copeny have given rise to the teenager as activist as young people battle climate change and gun violence, and at times it feels like the culture is overcompensating for past stereotypes of teen girls as materialistic and catty when celebrities claim teens will save the world. But over 25 years ago Pipher’s book helped popularize the idea that teenage girls suffer uniquely under America’s sexist and capitalist culture, calling for readers to actually listen to them.
What I realized is the reason girls were having so much trouble is who they are and who they want to become is so at odds with the cultural pressures on them to be a certain way
“What I realized is the reason girls were having so much trouble is who they are and who they want to become is so at odds with the cultural pressures on them to be a certain way,” Pipher tells Jezebel. “It isn’t about having neurotic parents at all. It’s really about trying to develop a strong sense of self and self-respect in a culture that totally ignores and devalues women.”
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