Republicans Continue to Be Mystified by the Secrets of the Lady Vote

Michele Bachmann’s leaving Congress (and, fingers crossed, the planet — we hear Pluto’s Senate is too ethical). Sarah Palin still inspires reality TV shows and biopics but not much more. Thus, NBC wonders how the GOP will solve its lady voter problem if these bastions of feminism can’t lead the way. Dumb question, obvious answer: Republicans will only “woo” female voters if they support policies that benefit women.

Palin and Bachmann are women, yes, but that doesn’t mean they’re able to lure significant amounts of lady voters solely on the basis of their snappy skirt suits. (To do that, they’d have to drug all of the yogurt in America.) NBC points out that polls show Palin and Bachmann actually appeal predominantly to men:

NBC News/Wall Street Journal polls taken at the height of each woman’s political career — Palin in October 2008, when she was on the presidential ticket, and Bachmann in August 2011, when she won the coveted Iowa presidential straw poll — showed that they were best liked at that time among men over 50. During those periods, just 38 percent of women had a favorable view of Palin, and only 19 percent of women liked Bachmann.

This is unsurprising, as neither women gave a fuck about most American women. Can there ever be a GOP Hillary? (62 percent had a favorable view of Hil in April 2013.) NBC kinda-sorta posits Gov. Susana Martinez of New Mexico and U.S. senators like Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire and Susan Collins of Maine as contenders, because they “are moderate in tone if not always in substance.” But women don’t like Hillary because she’s a chick. Women like Hillary because she consistently supports feminist policies, and because she’s qualified to run a country, unlike Bachmann or Palin.

Susan B. Anthony List president Marjorie Dannenfelser is a fan of the latter two — her group is pro-embryo, not pro-woman — and told NBC that “both women were trailblazers and role models for anti-abortion, stay-at-home moms who might not otherwise believe they were capable of running for office.”

But we’d venture to guess people of all genders didn’t think the women were capable of running the country because they both quickly and often proved themselves to be stunningly ignorant; Bachmann once said (amongst many other crazy things) that abolishing the minimum wage would solve unemployment and Palin believed (amongst many other crazy things) that she knew loads about foreign policy because she could see Russia from her house.

The two presidential elections proved that women won’t be fooled by tone nor lipstick. Women want to close the wage gap. Women want government policies that mandate paid pregnancy and sick leave. Women want to make their own choices when it comes to their reproductive health. Women don’t want to be told by politicians whether they were legitimately raped or not. Women don’t want to be patronized by “women-friendly” politicians who are actually deranged fools.

Basically: the GOP can’t win over women if the party doesn’t respect women who aren’t submissive to men, as dictated by a strict interpretation of the Bible and various old white dudes. That doesn’t look like it’ll happen anytime soon.

[NBC]