According to a new report, Samantha Markle is on a police watchlist for those “fixated” on the royal family. I mean... if the shoe fits....

The Sunday Times reported that, after Sammy’s stunt where she appeared on the doorstep of Kensington Palace in October claiming she wanted to patch things up (sure, Jan), she is “understood to have been included on a ‘fixated persons list’ by the police royalty and specialist protection unit, flagging the ‘reputational risk’ that she poses to the royal family.” She also recently sent a Christmas card urging reconciliation, like a scary ex who just refuses to go away.

A Scotland Yard source told the paper:

A Scotland Yard source said: “You can’t protect someone like the Duchess of Sussex without knowing the background of her family. But someone like Samantha presents a risk rather than a threat. She is not committing criminal offences, but she is causing concerns for the royal family.

“There is big potential for some major embarrassment for the royals. Samantha could make a scene and create headlines with her actions — and let’s face it she’s kind of already done that.”

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Scotland Yard refused to confirm; Kensington Palace declined to comment; Samantha told the Times: “I would only say that is ludicrous. I’m not a reputational risk.”

Protecting the Windsor “reputation” isn’t where I’d want my tax dollars going, but then my tax dollars are probably helping support Donald Trump destabilizing the international global order while tweeting from the White House toilet in his bathrobe, so I guess I don’t have room to judge!