Rep. Steve King Thinks Most Immigrants Are Evil Marijuana Smugglers

Rep. Steve King, not to be confused with another raging xenophobe, Rep. Peter King, is a raging xenophobe. This much we know. He’s the one who brought his cool little miniature electrical fence he made to protect our border with Mexico on the House floor back in the day, like a sinister Boy Scout. He’s the one who said the electric current wouldn’t kill anybody because “we do that with livestock all the time.” He’s the one who compared immigrants to dogs, and when cornered about it, was all, “No, immigrants. Calling you guys dogs is actually a compliment.”

People like Rep. King are great for one reason: they spew insane horse shit from their mouths at a fantastic rate. It takes a good amount of creativity to explain patiently that when you called immigrants a dog, in fact, they should pause and say, “Gracias, señor! I have been waiting for someone to compare me to a dog my whole life!” And he’s got that stupid grin on his face when he says it so you know he really believes it all, too.

In today’s Insane Shit Steve King Says news, good ole’ Steve buttoned up his suit and tied his tie to get in front of a camera and accuse the majority DREAMers, immigrants who were brought to the US when they were children, of being (rather athletic) marijuana smugglers:

“For every [DREAMer] who’s a valedictorian, there’s another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert.”

HOLY SMOKES! Do you know how much cantaloupe calves cost the average tax payer?! They gobble up all of our food and resources, take all those calve jobs us Americans work hard to make, and then stink up the place with their cantaloupe calve cooking. Hell, they can cook, though. I’ll give ’em that. Also, the body weight-to-marijuana ratio he just described means these immigrant babies are basically human-sized worker ants. Does King realize their potential? Yeah, right now they’re toting around bales of ganja, but get them all together and we can build our own Great Pyramids.

Oh, did you think King was done? King is never done:

“Until the folks who want to open this border and grant this amnesty can define the difference between the innocent ones who have deep ties with America and those who have been, I’ll say, undermining our culture and civilization and profiting from criminal acts, until they can define that difference, they should not advocate to grant amnesty for both good and evil.”

Well, I’ll say. There’s nothing I hate more than ignorant fools masquerading as true Americans that are actually whittling away at the morals that make this country great.