In case you have forgotten what Kim Kardashian’s naked body looks like, please direct your attention to Twitter, where she will show you for advertising’s sake, in startling high-definition.
When both pictures showed up on her timeline, one after the other, I thought Kim was just reminding us all that she has a body and that it is absent of hair—smooth and slippery, like the body of an eel. A reminder I didn’t need, but am not necessarily angry at. Just—there’s her body! It’s a body. Kim’s body. Moving right along. Time to grab a small orange and peel it slowly, basking in the warmth of the vernal sun and think about how happ—wait, it’s a goddamn ad for perfume!?
Harper’s Bazaar informs us that the photos are not actually an ad for her obviously skilled hair removal professional, but for her fragrance, which is inspired by her body. Of course. KKW Body by KKW Beauty. Fragrance that smells like... what, exactly? Here’s another hint.
I’m certainly not trying to be crude, but will this fragrance smell like what Kim’s creative team—Kim, Kanye, Kris, TBD—think her vagina smells like? Oud, with base notes of aldehyde and jacaranda blossom? Jasmine, sea spray, citrus, ambrette, suede? It’s “inspired” by her body, so that could mean a multitude of things: the shape; the texture; her butt; boobs. I don’t know. What I do know is that it takes a lot of... something to make a perfume that smells like what they think their undercarriage or entire body smells like and assume that someone will buy it!!