On my 21st birthday, I was robbed at the gay club. Generally, this was fine, because if somebody was going to steal my phone and peruse my personal information, I’d rather it be another gay person. And I did have some pretty tasteful nudes in there! Anyway, I’ve been told by friends who bore witness that on the Uber ride home at one point I asked the driver to politely pull over on the side of the road, at which point I rolled down the window and elegantly vomited out the side of the car. Most perplexingly to my friends, however, was the roll of toilet paper I had stolen from the club and stashed in my purse—“Just because!”—that I used to clean myself up. Embarrassing, yes. But at least I know now that me and Elle Fanning have this much in common!
During an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live Wednesday night, the actress spilled about her recent 21st birthday party, which she celebrated with big sister Dakota Fanning. Unfortunately, like most new 21-year-olds, she mixed some alcohols that don’t exactly vibe together when sloshing around in your stomach, chiefly: champagne and tequila shots. Blushing, she told host Kimmel: “I threw up, a lot, in the Uber ride home.” Same!
As Fanning tells it, her Uber driver was incredibly gracious—probably because of the two very famous child actors in his car—and provided her with a barf bag. Unfortunately for his upholstery, she had more throw-up in her body than his barf bag had room to stash it. The embarrassment was only compounded by the fact that her friend had ordered the Uber and would likely take the hit to their rating.
I do like to imagine, though, how comical it must have been for a group of Fanning sisters and friends to plead with an Uber driver that Elle had eaten “bad fish,” while someone is holding her “21st birthday hat” from falling off into the pile of vomit. Still, who among us hasn’t vomited in an Uber, or held our friend’s hair while they did the same? It’s good to know that celebrities are really just like us! However, if you were Elle’s Uber driver and would like to tell your story, you can always send me a tip at firstname.lastname@example.org! [E! News]
Katy Perry is pregnant. I’m told this is information that should be shocking, but the tabloids have been stuffed to the brim with rumors of this pregnancy for once, so I can’t really be moved to anything other than a general: “That’s what’s up,” and maybe a nod of affirmation in Perry and fiancé Orlando Bloom’s direction.
As expected, Perry “confirmed” her pregnancy in a new music video, “Never Worn White.” Near the end of the video, she cradles her stomach in profile, copying what Beyoncé famously pioneered at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards. Still though, congrats to her! If anything, she’s been planing this pregnancy for some time. Last year, I spotted Perry buying an oversized clown costume in the run-up to Halloween. At the time, I was perplexed why she would buy such a voluminous dress, and subsequently, never wear it. Now, I get it: Perhaps she was getting a headstart on her maternity wardrobe! [Just Jared]
Chrissy Teigen is not doing so good.
- Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard’s marriage seems stressful. [BuzzFeed]
- Ben Affleck isn’t so good at speaking Spanish. [People]
- Um, excuse me! Maura Higgins and Curtis Pritchard BROKE UP? [Daily Mail]
- Whoopi Goldberg would really love Andrew Yang to be her mayor, perplexingly. [TMZ]
- Lady Gaga is taking “Stupid Love” on tour. [People]