Reader Roundup: We've Found The Cure For Nipple-Sucking Doctors

The wait is over — today’s best comments are here!

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Nipple-Sucking Doctor Acquitted:

They need to nip this guy’s practice in the bud before he cons another sucker with his old midwives’ trick.

• Best Comment Of The Day, also in response to Nipple-Sucking Doctor Acquitted:

Can I try an old midwives’ trick on you, doctor? It’s called a cock punch, and it’s known to cure rank douchery.

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to User’s Guide: Mercury In Retrograde:

I can’t wait to hear what Jeremy Piven blames on mercury this year.

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to This Week In Tabloids: Brad Cheats On Angie With Flight Attendant:

Khloe and the Khlorine Teknician – Koming Soon to E!

• Best Comment Of The Day, also in response to This Week In Tabloids: Brad Cheats On Angie With Flight Attendant:

When they were caught in the act, the flight attendant grabbed two beers, open the emergency hatch, and fled via the inflatable slide.

Reminder: Rather than emailing us your daily comment nominations, we’d like you to submit them in the tips box at the top of the page. So send us your nominations via that box — complete with the outstanding comment’s URL — and tag your nomination #cotd. (Replying to a comment with “#cotd” does not work.) From here on out, we’ll mine through the brilliance via the Comment of the Day tag page.

Use the #trollpatrol page to report comments that you feel the editors/mods should be aware of. Try not to respond to/approve/promote trollish comments in the threads — instead, just post the comment on the #trollpatrol page, the same way you’d post a comment on #groupthink or on the #cotd page, and the editors/mods will take care of it.