Reader Roundup: Vampire C-Sections Are Newest Form Of Birth Control

Today’s best comments really sparkle.

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Sexting DA Asked Woman On Autopsy Date, Sexted Others:

Wisconsin’s unnoficially known as “The Cheese State” and “The Badger State.” It’s official motto is “Forward.”

It’s therefore fitting that this Wisconsin DA was acting in a way that was simultaneously cheesy, badgering, and too forward.

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Tips And Tricks: His Seme Will Make You A Better Spy:

The pen(is) mightier than the sword!

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Twilight Billboards Promote Safe Driving:

They should do a Twilight themed safe sex campaign too, because nothing’s more terrifying than the thought of a lover chewing through your uterine wall.
“Find a sock for your sparkle cock.”

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Breaking Dawn Will Not Be In 3D, Alas:

I feel as though I have been tricked. I watched all of the movies so I could be prepared for the day I could see a vampire C-section in 3d and now this happens?

Can I still go ahead with my Breaking Dawn themed jello shots? Take cherry jello and whatever alcohol you want and as they set, slide a king cake baby inside. Make your guests suck out baby “Renesmee” and congratulations! you have performed your own vampire c-section. I have been planning these for 2 years and there is no way I can’t do this.

Reminder: Rather than emailing us your daily comment nominations, we’d like you to submit them in the tips box at the top of the page. So send us your nominations via that box — complete with the outstanding comment’s URL — and tag your nomination #cotd. (Replying to a comment with “#cotd” does not work.) From here on out, we’ll mine through the brilliance via the Comment of the Day tag page.

Use #trollpatrol to report comments that you feel the editors/mods should be aware of. Try not to respond to/approve/promote trollish comments in the threads — instead, just post the comment on the #trollpatrol page, the same way you’d post a comment on #groupthink or on the #cotd page, and the editors/mods will take care of it.