We promise to love today's best comments forever.

Best Comment Of The Day in response to In A New Low, Man Proposes Via Facebook Status Update:

The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. I expect 30 years down the line we'll be reading the article 'In A New Low, Man Belches Proposal After Mother Tells Him "It Needs To Be Better Than Facebook!"'

Best Comment Of The Day in response to Assange: "Sweden Is The Saudi Arabia Of Feminism:

Yes, Julian, you are right. I kneel on my Ikea rug and pray facing Stockholm five times a day.

By the way, actual consciousness is the Wikileaks of sex. Get a clue.

Best Comment Of The Day in response to Assange: "Sweden Is The Saudi Arabia Of Feminism:

If Sweden were the Saudi Arabia of feminism....

*screen goes blurry as we transition to dream sequence, sounds of harps playing*

*a female anchor appears on screen

Female Anchor 1:The mutilated body of Julian Assange was found today. Apparently he was seen being led into a house by a number of women from conservative women's groups shortly before his body appeared, and there were loud screams heard shortly thereafter.

Local law enforcement has said they will not be investigating. He who may have been guilty of non-consensual sex with a woman. Or maybe not. Pundits are asking whether it matters whether or not he was guilty, seeing as he was a rather ugly fellow anyways.

Now, onto our top story...

*end dream sequence*



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