Quit Your Job and Apply to Be a Professional Sleeper ASAP

Illustration for article titled Quit Your Job and Apply to Be a Professional Sleeper ASAP

Guys, I am sleepy. And not just right now. I am sleepy all of the time, from the minute I get up in the morning until the minute I lay down again at night (6pm). I'm so sleepy that I think that I might have Lyme disease, but I'm too lazy to go to the doctor to find out for sure. I bet you know what I mean, too, because we are all adults and this is definitely a mature adult problem.

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But guess what? There's a place for us. There's a job for us and that job is as a professional sleeper in a luxury hotel. The only problem is that the hotel is in Finland, but, hey, if you could cover my cost of moving just for, like, right now, I think that we could totally swing a situation where we all get the job, hang out and nap in Helsinki for the next few weeks. You dig okay, Pony Boy? Yeah, you dig.

There are a few requirements to be a "professional sleeper" at the Finn Hotel. First you have to be willing to spend 35 days at the hotel, staying each night in a different room and blogging about your day-to-day experience. Also, you have to be fluent in Finnish, English and Russian, which should be no problem for you.

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They're accepting applications until the end of April, but I've got a good feeling about this. GOODBYE, JEZEBEL. I QUIT.

Hotel seeks "professional sleeper" [Salon]

Image via wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock.

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DISCUSSION

alexalgebra
alexalgebra

Those of you that think you might have Lyme disease should definitely look into your fatigue! It might not be Lyme, it could also be a candida overgrowth or gluten (or other food) intolerances. I thought there was something incurably wrong with me until I discovered I had a candida overgrowth and now that I'm working on getting rid of it, my life has new meaning! I can stay awake! It's awesome!