They say sex sells. But the way ad agencies market vodka, you’d think it was a bottle of hot, throbbing cock instead of water and ethanol.
Yesterday we posted this dickcentric ad, which informs us that Skyy Vodka sucks balls. One commenter joked that instead of a phallic reference, “The message I’m getting here is one of racial harmony based on a universal love of cherries and quality, mid-priced vodka.” If only!
Questions: Who is this ad for? Women who want to get drunk, have a threesome and suck balls with a friend? Or is it for men, who are suppose to believe that drinking cherry-flavored vodka will make women of all races drop to their knees? And what ever happened to non-sleazy yet visually interesting vodka ads?
Just another porny day in the Skyy Vodka neighborhood. This one has the added bonus of the completely dressed man tightly gripping his phallic symbol as the mostly-naked woman lies there: passive, submissive. She’s raising her sunglasses, which are basically her only shield against the world… Letting down the drawbridge. Drink Skyy and women will throw themselves at your feet and remove items of clothing!
Role reversal, kind of! In this older Skyy ad (from 2002), at least there’s an attempt at equality. He’s all, “Want my dildo?” And she’s like, “No thanks, I’ve got my own. Now leave. My whirlpool jets and I would like to be alone.”
Three Olives Vodka has an “O-Face” campaign. Either they want us to believe that their booze is orgasmic, or they’re recommending we sit on the bottle.
You don’t have to understand Bulgarian to get this ad for Flirt Vodka: Drink it and women will scrape their knees on the pavement while pleasuring you sexually.
Effen Vodka has a provocative name — while “Effen” is actually a Dutch word meaning “smooth, even and balanced,” obviously it is American slang for effing. As in: Fucking. The new campaign plays this up; here, a snow bunny says, “Nothing warms me up like Effen by the fire.” The use of pink here, her come-hither look and the touches of fur (standing in for pubic hair) make it clear that her après-ski activities involve (shocker) sex.
Another Effen ad, in which a flight attendant — tried-and-true cultural shorthand for “sexy” — says, “There’s nothing more satisfying than Effen on a plane.” The empty aircraft and her non-regulation low-cut blouse help further the message that vodka is a substitute for dick, and if you want to hook up with this “stew,” you’d better have the right brand.
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