Pull up a seat, and then sit down; this is a serious matter. Consider this your daily dose of morality, because I’m not kidding around with this public service announcement: a bunch of hot, rich and/or famous bearded men have decided to shave their facial hair. What did society do to deserve this? And what can I do to make sure it stops right here, right now? You’ve heard it here first: keep your dang beards.
A little over a week ago, Game of Thrones’s Kit Harington, a.k.a. Jon Snow, hosted Saturday Night Life without a beard (or long hair, for that matter, but I’m here to focus on his face.) I shuddered then, and I’m shuddering now: Jason Momoa is the latest actor to ruin my life by taking a razor to his gorgeous chin hairs.
“I think 2012 is the last time I shaved,” he said in a video on his YouTube channel, as he shaved his face in the middle of a desert. “Goodbye Drogo. Goodbye Arthur Curry,” he announced, referencing his Game of Thrones and Aquaman roles. Momoa claimed to have buzzed his face to “bring awareness that plastics are killing our planet,” but last I checked, his beard was not made of plastic?
“And if we have a solution, I don’t want to bitch about it. There’s only one thing that can really help our planet and save our planet as long as we recycle—and that’s aluminum... Aquaman is trying to do the best he can—for my kids, for your kids, for the world. Clean up the oceans, clean up the land. Love you guys.”
But is he Aquaman if he doesn’t have a beard? Surely there are other ways to save the planet, right?
And don’t even get me started on the perfect beard Chris Evans just went and removed from his face. Why? People around the world dream of whiskers so marvelous.
This is a travesty:
Or when Drake broke our collective hearts in 2016:
In conclusion: if you look better with a beard and possess the ability to grow and maintain one, it is up to you to keep said stubble for the betterment of everyone around you. Only you can keep your beard. Please, just don’t shave.