A dog wearing a fitness tracker.
Image: AP

Dogs and other pets are getting stoned like never before and unfortunately this one’s on us.

On Tuesday, The Guardian reported that the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) says it’s experienced a 765% increase in emergency calls about pets accidentally eating weed products over the past decade. The ASPCA operates a 24-hour hotline, which previously had been dominated by calls about dogs consuming chocolates and cats gnawing on potted plants. But in 2018, they also received 1,800 calls about pets eating marijuana, which is especially toxic for pooches, since, as The Guardian has it:

“The strength of the THC in some of these products can cause dogs a great level of discomfort and panic. Incontinence, ataxia and overreaction to sound and other stimulus is common, while in more severe cases a lowered heart rate can potentially prove fatal.”

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This means the problem is easily remedied. Just remember not to leave your weed lying around for the dog to get at. This might necessitate inking yourself like the guy from Memento (or Adam Levine), or just storing this one golden edict in your noggin.

According to The Guardian, edibles are also littering our streets, giving dogs unprecedented access:

“Even if there are no edibles in your own home, it doesn’t mean your dog won’t find them elsewhere. Last year, Twitter user Seth Mersing posted a video of his three-year-old dog Rita after she appeared to have ingested an edible during a walk in the park.”

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Remember, then, to pick up after yourself. I’m not sure this applies to more than six people.