Project Runway, As Recapped By My Mom

The bad news: I went to bed early and my DVR declined to record ProjRun last night. The good news: My mom watched it and told me everything.

Okay, Mom. Go ahead.

Okay. What happened. It started out and they said we have a surprise for you, it’s going to be someone who is like, very difficult to work with, blah blah blah. And you have to design a red carpet outfit for this person, blah blah blah. Then, all of a sudden, they had Maya on there — I think she is so pretty — they had Maya on there and she decided that she could not continue, she said that she wasn’t ready yet. She could not continue.

Why, though?

She said that she felt that it was too much pressure, and she was too stressed. You know what it made it seem like, Dodai? That it was plotted. I think they asked her to step off so they could bring Anthony back. It made you feel that way. They went back and they were talking about how stressed she was on the last thing and how every time she makes something they always say she doesn’t have her own look. So she just said, I need to get my look together or whatever. But to me — this is just me — It was planned. Who would step away from this shit? Her stuff is good!

So she just left? Was she even in the workroom to begin with?

Uh… no…

Did they say goodbye to her?

No, no one actually said goodbye to her.

They just did one of those interviews with the white screen behind her?

Right. And somebody said they wished they had said goodbye to her and then they asked people and they said whatever and then they were whatever. And then… Maybe… I’m not positive. Maybe she did come in the workroom.

But in the workroom, then they bring in Heidi. And she is the candidate, and they are all surprised. And whatever.

So she’s the one they are designing for?

Yes. And so then they said let’s go to Mood. And then they said that if someone drops out the person who left before would come back, and that would be Anthony. And Anthony came back! And he went to Mood by himself, which he didn’t want to do, because he said, there’s no Tim to tell me if it’s bad fabric. But I was so happy. I love Anthony. He’s just so gay. He is so gay! He said, “She’s back!” He didn’t even say HE’s back. He said SHE’s back (giggles)

[Mom called to add: Now I remember. It was Heidi who said “She’s back.” And Anthony gave her a look. I don’t think he liked it.]

They tried to give him a little more time, see, everbody else had until 12, he worked until 2:35, because he started late. And he said, “I don’t know why Maya left, but I’m glad she left.” So he ended up with Maya’s model, Monique.

Anyway. After that, they all made these designs.

I emailed you the link to the dresses. Maybe you can tell me what they said about people’s dresses?

Okay! I really thoroughly enjoyed the show. And everybody thinks I’m so crazy because I only watch three reality shows, I watch America’s Next Top Model, Runway and the dancers. I do watch the dancers. But I never watch this other stuff.

Anthony’s dress:

Mom says: They just loved it. It was gorgeous. You need to just see it when it walks, it just moves, it flows.

Emilio:

Mom says: They thought that was the best dress. There was nothing wrong with it. Absoultely nothing wrong. And he did a dress underneath the dress. It was just perfect. It was the most perfect thing they had ever seen. Not a single person had anything nasty to say. It was the most wonderful, beautiful design. They said he could have used that fabric and it could have come off really cheesy and cheap, but it came off elegant. It fit the model’s body to a T, perfect, it was like it was sewn on to the girl, it was done so well. And the dress under the dress was done so well.

Jay:

Mom says: They made the silliest statement. You know, I like a butt. Everyone said that they hated it and that nobody wants a big butt. And Heidi hates big butts and everyone was talking about how much women hate big butts, especially that Michael Kors. And they said it made the girl look larger and it was just a mess and everything. There was a lot of work done on it, but they said it would make someone look fat. They didn’t like it. I like Jay. But everyone wanted Brittany to leave. Everyone hates Brittany.

Jonathan:

Mom says: They thought this was hideous. What happened was, when they were sewing, Heidi came into the work room. And Heidi was very critical. And that’s how Jay’s dress became short. It wasn’t supposed to be short like that. But she started criticizing it and he just made it like that. This poor guy — this was his third dress. They thought the back was beautiful, but they thought the front looked like a pillowcase. You know, a dirty pillowcase. But he had tried so much. That was all the fabric he had left. And they thought it was too short, and that you could see butt cheeks in the back if she stepped up a little bit.

Mila:

Mom says: They thought this looked like something you would wear out to dinner, not on the red carpet. They thought that it didn’t enhance the boobs, you don’t have cleavage. Oh! By the way! I forgot to tell you, when Heidi was in the workroom, she showed her boobs a little bit! One guy was saying I did it so you would have separation of the boobs or something and she said, “Look!” and pulled down her top! (laughs) She said, “My boobs don’t look like that!” And I was thinking, what would Seal think about you showing your boobs to these people? She wasn’t showing that much but she actually showed her boobs last night. I’ve forgotten whose dress she showed her boobs to. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to remember.

Mom says: But they didn’t like this dress. Heidi has big boobs, it’s too low, and it doesn’t push the boobs anyplace. It’s like she didn’t think of Heidi. And besides, they didn’t like it anyway. And you know when people show boobs they want to show cleavage. They want it pushed together. I wouldn’t even wear that.

Seth Aaron:

Mom says: They thought it was dowdy. They thought it was ugly. And they said it looked like something someone who would give an award would wear. Nobody would wear that on a red carpet, period. I thought it was ugly. It’s not fitted enough. Whatsherface has a beautiful body and she loves to show it. You know? She’s into bodies, you know? Into her body. She doesn’t have anything to cover up. And she had told him, design me something because I won’t have this bump when I wear this. But nobody liked this dress. There was not a single positive thing said about this dress.

Now the winner of the runway was Emilio. Emilio got so much praise when they were talking. Oh my God he got such praise. The girl on the runway — her hair color and her hair style matched the dress. And she just looked elegant. This other one, they just loved the way it flowed. Jessica Alba said, when she saw it, she said, “Heidi if you don’t want this dress, I want this dress.” You know, the black and white one.

Wait, Anthony’s? Which one won?

They both did. Heidi announced Emilio’s. And then they asked Jessica Alba to announce the other one. And she asked Anthony if she could wear his dress. Heidi loved the dress, but you know, Heidi likes to show her figure.

And if you look at this dress, the black and white dress, if you got a body, this dress got it going on. If I had a body, I would have to have that other dress. Emilio’s dress is just gorgeous.

Jessica Alba said something really cool about Anthony’s dress, she said it was like tragedy and comedy? She said it has two faces, Anthony’s dress. And they said, think of the paparazzi, the paparazzi would love that dress. And Monique really really did that dress. Worked it. It was a bad-ass dress, that’s all I can tell you. If I were younger I would just be out there trying to work my butt off to buy it. It’s gorgeous.

Anyway, everybody was glad Anthony was back. Jonathan was eliminated, the one with whatever. The models wanted Jay eliminated. Because they don’t like Brittany.

Anything else?

I can’t think of anything else, but it was really good, I’m sorry!

No, thank you, Mom! You helped me a lot.

[Images via MyLifetime.com]