Prison Guards Apprehend Cat Trying Adorably to Sneak Into a Brazilian Prison with Jailbreak Gear

A fleet-footed black-and-white cat was captured back on Dec. 31 by prison guards in Brazil’s northeast Alagoas state after it was caught sneaking around with a little parcel of tools strapped to its body, which is both the cutest and cleverest jailbreak plan ever devised. It’s also reason enough to take a long, hard look at your cat(s), which is/are probably sleeping on a piece of warm and expensive electronic equipment and wonder how useful it/they would be in a Great Escape situation (the answer is obviously “no” — you cat(s) would buddy up to a new human without a criminal record).

According to a statement released by Alagoas state prisons, guards found the cat sneaking (as cats are wont to do) around the prison walls, searching for a point of ingress. The four-legged rapscallion was outfitted with a little vest containing a cellphone, drills, batteries, and two saws. As of right now, all of the prison’s 250-plus inmates are considered suspects, and the cat has been handed over to animal control, where it will lie in wait until some unwitting old lady adopts it and adds it to her brood of well-mannered house cats because, dammit, there simply aren’t enough live-action pet movies anymore and that would be the beginning of a great one.