Princess Charlene Tried to Escape Monaco Three Times

Newlywed Princess Charlene hasn’t always been as confident in her marriage to Monaco’s Prince Albert as she appeared during her wedding Saturday. Apparently the newly minted royal tried to flee the tiny principality three times before her big day, only to have her passport confiscated to keep her around.

Yikes. Now I feel bad for saying I liked her dress.

No word on why, exactly, Charlene was so eager to leave, but it may have something to do with her partner. Prince Albert has a history of pre- and extramarital dalliances, some of which resulted in children, and a couple of which are currently unresolved.

Prince Albert II, 53, the son of Grace Kelly, has two confirmed children: Jazmin Grimaldi, 19, whose mother is Tamara Rotola, an American estate agent, and Alexandre Coste, six, whose mother is Nicole Coste, a former Togolese air hostess.

He has been with Charlene for five years, so any claims of children under five suggest the prince had been cheating on his bride.

Charlene, a South Africa native, attempted to flee three times over the last couple of months. Apparently she was so tepid on the union that “an arrangement” was made between the bride and groom in order to entice her to go through with the wedding.

Illegitimate children don’t have claim to the throne of Monaco, and unless Charlene bears Albert an heir, the principality will become an “official protectorate under French jurisdiction.”

On this, America’s Independence day, let’s pause and reflect on how lovely it is to not have a monarchy in place and that all of our country’s meaningless figureheads are selected by a panel of B-list celebrity judges or by calling or texting the American Idol vote line.

UPDATE: Contrary to what was reported on the news.com.au site, per a 2002 change in the constitution that allows women to inherit the throne, Prince Philip’s sister will become heir to the throne if he isn’t to produce an heir.