Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Are Officially Off the Clock, Forever

Illustration for article titled Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Are Officially Off the Clock, Forever
Image: Justin Tallis / AFP (Getty Images)

The top brass at Buckingham Palace have made official what we’ve all known to be true for at least a year: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are actually, truly, done with royal duties and are now free to roam about the cabin that is their new lives as plebes in Los Angeles.

When Megxit occurred in January 2020, some three hundred years ago, the Palace announced that there would be a year-long “review” process that, I guess, would allow for the Queen and her little grip of officials to decide if they were allowed to do this. After said review process was completed, it seems that the Queen has made it official: Harry and Meghan are free from being royals and can now go their own way.

Here’s the statement, via Page Six:

“Following conversations with The Duke, The Queen has written confirming that in stepping away from the work of The Royal Family it is not possible to continue with the responsibilities and duties that come with a life of public service,” the statement read, adding that the couple’s honorary military appointments and royal patronages would be returned to Queen Elizabeth II to be redistributed.

“While all are saddened by their decision, The Duke and Duchess remain much loved members of the family,” the statement concluded.

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Okay, so the “military appointments” and “royal patronages” that this statement refers to are a bunch of things that I don’t quite understand in full, but feel confident that Jezebel’s royals expert Kelly Faircloth will explain to us all at some point. They are: “The Royal Marines, RAF Honington, Royal Navy Small Ships and Diving, The Queen’s Commonwealth Trust, The Rugby Football Union, The Rugby Football League, The Royal National Theatre and The Association of Commonwealth Universities.” Ole Lizzy will be responsible for dividing these up and giving them away to other people who will know or who will want to use them? I think?

Anyway! This is exciting, because Prince Harry gets to adjust to being a normal person in Los Angeles, Meghan can maybe return to cable television, and oh, yeah, these two are gonna do a big sit-down with Oprah next month for roughly 90 minutes, and I hope that now that they are no longer under the thumb of the monarchy, they will speak freely about everything. I also imagine that a lot of people are freaking out about this, but you know what, let ‘em! Let ‘em do it. Meghan, Harry, Small Archie, and the other baby who is not yet born, be FREE. [Page Six]


I am normally in full support of every ounce of mess, drama, and nastiness the Real Housewives of New York can serve me in a 44-minute episode, but I gotta say, I’m happy to hear that the Countess got a sober coach for the upcoming season.

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Because of covid, the cast had to film in locations like bars and restaurants, instead of gallivanting freely around the Tri-State area and beyond. That, combined with the fact that isolation is, uh, isolating, has made it difficult for those looking to maintain their sobriety. However! Luann has realized that she... actually should be sober, and tried her best to make sure that happened, even as she lost yet another year of her life to Andy Cohen’s most nefarious creation.

“Most people in her situation would avoid bars and that kind of thing, but she didn’t have that option. It really made her nervous,” said Page Six’s Source. But apparently the new season has wrapped and Luann is STILL sober. Victory! [Page Six]

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  • Why... would one try on a wedding dress at a friend’s fitting when you have already been married and divorced twice? Please, Christina Haack (neé Haack, then El-Moussa, then Anstead, then back to Haack), some clarity, thanks. [People]
  • Rose McGowan lives in Mexico now. [Page Six]
  • These two are still getting married. [Just Jared]

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DISCUSSION

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1. I wish people would stop using the term Megxit. It was created by racists.

2. I don’t feel like the loss of the patronage or honorary military appointments is a big deal. They made a big deal about not being royal anymore after having to change direction following the original announcement of trying to have both. That was never going to work so the spin was that they always were stepping back completely, which wasn’t true but they needed to save face. I’m sure there will be sources leaking to Omid Scoble about how upset they are to lose the few patronages, even though I don't think those patronages were that important to them.