Prime Minister of Finland Apologizes for Partying

Case in point, Sanna Marin, Finland’s epic 36-year-old prime minister, missed a text saying she should self-isolate following potential covid exposure because she was out clubbing until 4 a.m. Marin had reportedly previously been informed by her secretary of state that since she was fully vaccinated, she need not worry about the fact that a foreign minister with whom she’d been in contact had tested positive. Then, still quite sensibly, Marin paid heed to the early works of the world’s leading authority on standard dancefloor operating procedure, Lady Gaga—who has sung missives both about the probability of losing one’s phone while dancing and the futility of trying to hear one’s mobile notifications in a crowded nightclub—and left her work phone at home before attending a Helsinki nightclub. Unfortunately, she received a notification advising her to isolate after, and for honoring the word of Gaga above the common sense of 21st century covid-19 safety precautions, she is sorry:

“I am very sorry for not understanding that I needed to do that,” Marin wrote in a Facebook post, according to BBC News. However, Finland’s safety guidelines are a little unclear:

“Under Finland’s Covid guidelines, anyone who is double-jabbed does not need to isolate if they come into contact with a positive case. But the guidelines do advise people to voluntarily avoid social contact if they are waiting for access to a Covid test.”

While the message elder millennials received in 2008 was exceedingly straightforward: Don’t bring your fucking phone to the club. You’re going to lose it, and you can’t text with a drink in your hand anyway; especially if you’re in charge of running the country of Finland.

However, it would seem that all’s well that ends well: Marin does not have covid, but she does still have her phone. And we frankly respect her work/life balance.