Presented Without Comment: Vogue's Random Mission Statement

Illustration for article titled Presented Without Comment: emVogues/em Random Mission Statement

As featured in the July issue. Click to enlarge.

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DISCUSSION

morninggloria
Erin Gloria Ryan

Have you ever seen what people wear on the floor of stock exchanges? They wear like, khakis and polo shirts and extremely tacky brightly colored snap front short sleeved jerseys with collars and they attach buttons and other pieces of flare to the front of those horrible jerseys. A lot of traders wear bifocals. Trading floor couture is the epitome of morning-after chic.

And why are we wearing leather gloves? Are we still on the trading floor now, wearing leather gloves? I hope that those leather gloves are neon colored, so that the specialists can see you trying to place orders in a crowded pit. Or, are we not on the exchange floor anymore? Where are we? How did we get from there to a glove-appropriate environment? Why are you asking me these things about this lady Eisenhower character? I'm so confused. Are we at a bar? And why do you keep shouting things at me like WEARABLE OPTIONS? The volume of your voice is inappropriate. Oh my god. Where are we? Why are we here? Are you going to make me join a cult? NO YOU CANNOT GET AN AMEN UP IN HERE.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME I THINK THAT THIS PERSON IS ON DRUGS. I REPEAT I DO NOT KNOW THIS PERSON WHO IS STANDING TWO INCHES FROM MY FACE AND TRYING TO RECITE A WOMAN AND FASHION MANIFESTO.