Prepare Yourself For a Movie About Dennis Rodman's North Korea Trips

The origins of some movies are the stuff of legend—Gone With the Wind, Citizen Kane, Apocalypse Now, etc.

Then again, some movies just materialize out of random, insane, mostly awful events because filmmakers know there’s a large majority of you out there (and I don’t mean YOU, dear reader who only goes to see independently produced French student art films) who would literally pay to watch a car crash over and over again, just so you can stare longingly into its horrific, bloody splendor.

Such is the case with the soon-to-be-existing film Diplomats. It is a film about ex-NBA player and current real-life troll Dennis Rodman’s trips to North Korea. Oh joy-joy.

20th Century Fox has bought the comedy pitch Diplomats, inspired by Dennis Rodman’s so-called “hoops diplomacy” mission to North Korea, as a directing vehicle for Ride Along‘s Tim Story (pictured below). Peter Chernin, hot off the hit Sandra Bullock-Melissa McCarthy comedy The Heat, is producing via his Fox-based shingle Chernin Entertainment. Jonathan Abrams is writing the script.

So many words and so many names strung together to mean so many things that I still just do not understand.

Somewhere, there is a documentary filmmaker who just maxed out all his
credit cards to shoot a film about some global atrocity being inflicted
on some poor, disenfranchised, marginalized group who is crying his
fucking eyes out reading this news. But fuck that buy because we might
be getting a movie about Rodman running around North Korea playing
diplomatic savior king.

Diplomats is described as a two-hander that takes its cues
from the antics of the 6-foot-7 former NBA player Rodman, known as “The
Worm.” Meanwhile, the North Korean leader has also provided the comedic
backdrop for another comedy, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg’s upcoming The Interview at Sony.
Story is fielding offers in the wake of Ride Along, which has earned $123 million domestically. He already is onboard for a sequel that will reteam stars Kevin Hart and Ice Cube.

If you’re like me, right now you just dropped to your knees and begged the sweet little teeny-tiny infant baby Jesus to make them cast Kevin Hart as Dennis Rodman. I have a few organs I would be willing to part with if Hollywood producers are interested. Hit me up.

No word yet on what kind of ridiculous cameo Rodman himself will have in the film. Let’s just all cross our fingers that it’s one that has him singing “Happy Birthday.”