PornHub's SFW Billboard Has Mysteriously Disappeared

Pornhub has had a long (and hard) (sorry) history with public advertising. The site tried to get its ads into the Super Bowl but was quickly rejected and recently PornHub’s glorious SFW billboard was taken down as quickly as it was erected in Time Square. Why can’t free porn just get a break?

The billboard was created by copywriter and (presumably) internet porn enthusiast Nuri Galver of Istanbul and is the first off-line ad for the site. It features a hand that’s been formed into a heart with the words “All you need is hand” emblazoned above. Because that’s all you really need. Not love potion #9 or all that stupid old shit like letters and soda. No, all you need is a firm grip and a wifi connection that won’t quit. And a reminder that PornHub exists and no longer has that “5 video a day limit” that could really harsh your mellow if you had a difficult time choosing based on thumbnails. Hey, it’s a process.

The company spared no expense on the billboard and actually hired the Gotham Rock Choir to celebrate the billboard’s launch. Here’s their rendition of “All You Need Is Hand,” which is, of course, sung to the tune of “Hot White Cum” by Liz Phair.

Galver says that the song, along with the imagery will make sure that Pornhub is in everyone’s brain. Because everyone knows the song and because everyone uses a hand every day. Okay? I guess. I think that’s reaching a little bit, but it’s a porn ad, so what is anyone really expecting? Maybe more porn? Probably more porn.

According to The Guardian, the ad may have been removed because of protest by The Doubletree Hilton, on whose premises the billboard was located. That makes a lot of sense, actually. The Hilton has horrible internet connectivity and also charges you like 17.95 to rent an adult film from their catalogue (which is equally horrible because it has one gay title that’s just dudes washing cars in underwear and not doing anything else). Of course, it could also be a copyright issue. Who knows? The point is that the world wasn’t ready for sex to be advertised in the middle of New York. And that’s a world that’s just a little sadder than it was yesterday.