Pope Says You'll Get into Heaven Faster if You Follow Him on Twitter

Catholics who click on to the pope’s Twitter feed on Catholic World Youth Day — a week-long event* that starts on July 22 — will gets an “indulgence”, which is basically a get out of purgatory free card. The more you get, the faster you get the heck out of that hell-ish hole and straight up to the big dog’s ice cream social in the sky.

Of course, like everything in life, there are SOME strings attached. Proclaimeth Vatican’s Archbishop Claudio Maria Celli:

You can’t obtain indulgences like getting a coffee from a vending machine. What really counts is that the tweets the Pope sends from Brazil or the photos of the Catholic World Youth Day that go up on Pinterest produce authentic spiritual fruit in the hearts of everyone.

It’s as Jesus said, “Pinterest the Pope, and Instagram His Holiness”

*I don’t know, maybe they have a different calendar? Or understanding of time? I don’t know.