Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Poor Kellyanne Conway Has Been 'Sidelined' From TV

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Kellyanne Conway, a Russian bot created to hypnotize American TV audiences into a deep, deep sleep, has been off the airwaves for over a week. According to CNNMoney, her absence may be a strategic move by White House officials to “sideline” her for being consistently “off message.”

In a TV appearance last Monday, Conway said that Trump had “full confidence” in former national security adviser Michael Flynn. Hours later, Flynn was forced to resign for misleading officials about conversations he had with a Russian ambassador before Trump took office. Conway also invented the infamous Bowling Green Massacre, a deadly terrorist attack in which no one died because it never really happened. One source told CNNMoney that “they’re letting the heat cool off” because “she started becoming ineffective” as a surrogate for Trump.

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This isn’t a move against Conway’s “alternative facts,” however. After all, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has the ability to lie five times within five minutes and Donald Trump, who recently fabricated a terrorist attack in Sweden to justify the Muslim ban, has such distaste for facts that it’s practically safer to assume everything he says is false. The issue, according to sources both within the White House and outside of it, is that Conway contradicts her bosses in embarrassing ways that make their jobs harder. In Conway’s defense, though, it is really hard to keep track of which lie is the “right” lie when everyone is lying!

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Conway is in slightly less demand on TV, too. MSNBC’s Morning Joe is so tired of eating Conway’s word salad day after day that they recently banned her from the show. “It got to a point where Kellyanne would keep coming out and everything she said was disproven like five minutes later,” co-host Joe Scarborough told Stephen Colbert on the Late Show Tuesday night. “And it wasn’t disproven by a fact-checker—it was somebody else in the administration that would come out and actually say well, actually no, that’s not true.”

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Conway rejected CNN’s report and had this to say:

Conway did not initially respond to a request for comment. Following the publication of this article, she called to take issue with the premise and said she would be appearing on Fox News on Wednesday evening.

“I’ve been invited on shows every day, including two Sunday shows. I’m trying to focus on other pieces of my portfolio,” Conway said. She also said that Trump was his own best “communicator and connector,” and did not need her to be a constant presence on television. “None of us do it like he does,” she said.

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Will Conway really appear on TV tonight? It remains to be seen. She’s lied about that before, too.