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Poll: What Kind Of Self Tanner Do You Think Mitt Romney Uses?

Illustration for article titled Poll: What Kind Of Self Tanner Do You Think Mitt Romney Uses?

Rumor has it that Mitt Romney's weirdly inconsistent skin color is due to the fact that the candidate has been getting spray-tanned on the regular. This got us wondering...what self tanner does Willard Mitt Romney use? So we're taking a very scientific poll.

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Illustration for article titled Poll: What Kind Of Self Tanner Do You Think Mitt Romney Uses?
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Mitt Romney has taken pains to project the image of a man of the people. Maybe he plumps for drugstore Jergens?


Illustration for article titled Poll: What Kind Of Self Tanner Do You Think Mitt Romney Uses?

That's ridiculous. You just know he's using something at least as pricey as Clarins.


Illustration for article titled Poll: What Kind Of Self Tanner Do You Think Mitt Romney Uses?
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Perhaps the secret explanation for his Univision appearance is simple: he was duped by L'Oréal and Eva Longoria.


Illustration for article titled Poll: What Kind Of Self Tanner Do You Think Mitt Romney Uses?
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Maybe Mittens is actually a teenage girl from 2006 and uses Lindsay Lohan's self tan, Sevin Nyne.


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DISCUSSION

YayForSoup
YayForSoup

Upon awakening each morning Romney is handed a brief containing an estimate of how many brown people he is expected to encounter that day. Based on these estimates he selects the hue that will most ingratiate himself with those around him.

Attending a private fundraise for a small group of wealthy contributors?

Apply a light dusting of bronzer.

Appearing on Telemundo?

Slather on so much of that shit that even Snooki would give you the side-eye.