Monday’s Season 10 premiere of the roundtable gabfest The Talk was hyped as not only the debut of a new studio design and a new host (Marie Osmond) but also of Sharon Osbourne’s recently lifted face. Newsweek, ET, and Page Six (via TVLine) all ran stories about the unveiling, which I hoped would come via unboxing or at least involve a raised curtain or maybe a “What’s behind Door Number 2"-type scenario in which the answer would be: “SHARON OSBOURNE’S FAAAAAAAAACE!!!”
The preview announcement at the top of the show was gleefully deranged: “It’s Monday, September 9, and our season premiere of The Talk is live! We’ve got a brand new set, a brand new host, Marie, and Mrs. O has a brand new face that we’ll all see for the first time!” Wow, way to hype me up. And then they showed “exclusive” footage of Marie Osmond recently tripping on a Vegas stage “just days before her Talk debut!” This is going great! I thought.
But as soon as we meet the hosts at the Talk table, Osbourne is among them without so much as an attempt at ceremony. So no Let’s Make a Deal Involving Sharon Osbourne’s New Face, then. It turns out that her new face looks a lot like her old face, I guess tighter and, uh, lifted as the name of the procedure would imply. Love it when doctors do their jobs. She had it done five weeks ago and went through what the procedure entailed.
“I had my neck done, my jowls gone...uh, it just basically went whoop, like this,” she said, making an upward lifting motion. “He kind of pulled it from the top of my head and put an elastic band in it. But everything was just lifted up so it looks more refreshed.”
The result: Sharon Osbourne now looks like... Sharon Osbourne.
Why do I bother getting excited about anything?