Please Be Like Miley Cyrus and Forget About the Kendall Jenner Birthday Drama For Good

Illustration for article titled Please Be Like Miley Cyrus and Forget About the Kendall Jenner Birthday Drama For Good
Image: Eric Voake (Getty Images)

The celebrity gossip pipeline has only provided me with the following dribble of interesting information to discuss today, but there’s a nice message in this goss, so at least there’s that: Miley Cyrus would very much like it if we all stopped giving a shit about Kendall Jenner’s maskless birthday party super-spreader event and just went to the polls and fucking voted.

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A brief primer on the Kendall bullshit: She had a birthday party over the weekend and the many photos of said birthday that circulated on social media showed attendees in costume, sans mask, pressing their bodies all up on each other, indoors in the middle of a global pandemic. There was a “no social media” rule at this party, which made matters worse, because of course people would post about this event because even though there IS a fucking pandemic, clout is eternal.

Anyway! That’s the lukewarm Lipton about the party. As that was going on, some sleuths with a lot of time on their hands noticed that Hannah Montana unfollowed all the famouses that attended this event on Instagram, as if this was some sort of tacit statement on or condemnation of these people’s behaviors. The need to find meaning in the meaningless actions of our idols is insatiable and knows no limit. Per these sleuths’ research, Miley “unfollowed” Kendall, the Weeknd, Saweetie, and Kylie Jenner. Here’s the twist: she never followed any of these fools to begin with!!

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As we can see here, Miley is just as tired of this shit as I am—something nice for us. As to her second point, I also agree! Who cares WHO FOLLOWS WHAT AND WHERE on the “damn gram.” There are more important matters at stake. Please, go. None of this will matter if Trump wins the election and we are all trapped in another four years of hell. I’d argue that it doesn’t matter now! So! Just stop! Put your phone down! Go vote or do a guided meditation, I’m not in charge, but honestly, WHO CARES. [Buzzfeed]


There’s a lot to say about this photo of Gayle King’s little tootsies on a scale, but what I don’t think needs to be discussed at all is whether or not Oprah’s best friend has gotten a fucking pedicure?

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Gayle did a “5 day soup fast” and I guess that shit worked. “Trying to get into mustard yellow dress for Elex night coverage TONITE ..praying to sweet black baby Jesus it now fits, that you VOTE, & that there is PEACE ..” she wrote. As for her toes, which are not done, that’s her business and not yours? She also wrote that she’s not quite comfortable going into a nail salon just yet, so let her fucking live, man. Also, remember that Gayle is famous and rich and has people that can probably come to her house and do that for her if she wants, but maybe she just doesn’t have the time? I don’t know! Making excuses for Gayle King’s un-pedicured toes is not something anyone should be spending their time on! Please, there are OTHER THINGS to worry about. Let Gayle’s toes live. [Instagram]

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  • That woman who is having a child with Jax from Vanderpump Rules is out here “defending her baby bump”? [Us Weekly]
  • Cameron Diaz is living the kind of life that I can only hope for. [The Hollywood Reporter]
  • OMG, please, you guys, nobody cares if you are together or not, at this point just break up or don’t, but STOP TALKING ABOUT IT IN PUBLIC. [Page Six]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

mikethemarvelous
Mike the marvelous one

Ive said it for years, jezebel needs to stop talking about the stain on humanity known as the kardashians. And the hadids as well. I’m sick of both families and they’ve done nothing for us. One is famous for a man who killed his estranged wife and her alleged boytoy, another is known for their father breaking tons of zoning laws in Los Angeles.

Trash breeds trash to attract trash.

Vote.