Pete Davidson and Machine Gun Kelly have apparently banded together to shill Calvin Klein underwear, clearly in an effort to warm the loins of fans of everywhere.
In a livestream on Monday, the internet’s two favorite lanky, tattooed boys rocked some Calvin Klein sweats and their skivvies while chatting to the camera, feeding each other popcorn, and showing off their deeply cringe-y photoshoot poses.
“I hope everyone is just really soaking in their seats out there,” quips Machine Gun Kelly at one point, followed by a monotone Davidson adding: “Hope everyone’s horny at home. We really brought the horniness... We bring the horniness.”
While it’s deeply unsurprising that a brand would lean into the collective thirst that people seem to have for these two skinny white men, perhaps the biggest surprise in the stream was the lack of bulge. Now, I’m all for benefit of the doubt here, but I’ll just say one more thing to that end: Davidson is supposedly the man, the myth, and the legend of BDE, to the point where a dildo was inspired by him. To quote ever-iconic Monique: “I would like to see it.”
In other dong news, Nick Cannon apparently Jon Hamm-ed all over the place on his talk show last week. During a segment titled “What’s Poppin?!” Cannon’s cannon was seemingly all too visible beneath his three-piece suit, and people have, predictably, gone wild about it. Personally, I’m loving that everyone is feeling free to be horny on main these days. Long live, you horndogs.
- Mr. Big aka Chris Noth is backing his TV paramour, Sarah Jessica Parker, amid the Kim Cattrall/Sex and the City drama that never seems to end. [The Guardian]
- Drake is super done with the Grammys. [Variety]
- Paul “PK” Kemsley, husband of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Dorit, was arrested for a DUI. [TMZ]
- Tristan Thompson is having a baby with a personal trainer he allegedly got pregnant when he and Khloe Kardashian were trying their relationship for the 400th time. Predictably, she’s not happy about that. [People]