Willow Smith most certainly did not pose topless on Instagram but that hasn't seemed to stop the world from freaking out like she did.
Apparently, we need to have "Topless 101" class on the Internet now. First lesson: This is not a topless picture. This is a photo of a girl wearing a shirt that depicts some nudity—some blurry, obscured nudity at best. These are the boobies of another person who is clearly not Willow Smith. (It's not the first time Smith has found herself as the subject of everyone's ire over pictures they have judged to be inappropriate for her age.) As Refinery 29 points out, this picture is little more than a teenager posing in a fashion-y vintage shirt.
[The image] depicts the 14 year-old wearing a vintage Jean Paul Gaultier T-shirt. That features naked breasts. Cue the pearl-clutching and think-piecing! Smith posted the photo to her Instagram yesterday, but has since deleted it, no doubt due to said pearl-clutchy comments. The pic lives on V Files' Instagram (the tee in question was a part of its Gabriel Held vintage collection) and the popular @willowsmithfan account.
Media outlets are speculating that the pic is meant as a #FreeTheNipple statement, but we're going to go ahead and say that the only statement being made here is, "Hi, I'm 14, and I like to do provocative shit." Sure, it's a little naughty, but that's the point.
Even E! Online, the croque-en-bouche of celebrity news, understands this.
The 14-year-old singer changed her profile photo on the picture-sharing platform, and it has caused quite the stir because it shows her posing topless. Except Will Smith's daughter isn't actually baring it all! She is actually wearing clothing in the shot, but the top depicts a woman's naked body, revealing nipples and all.
None of this would matter if we could all get over our goddamn puritanical obsession with policing images of women's breasts, but I'll probably be the Queen of Mars and married to Tom Hiddleston before that shit ever happens.
Let's all read obsessively into this selfie of Lady Gaga with Adele. They posed for this picture together on Wednesday night, offering no explanation except this from Gaga's Instagram: "Nothing like a Wednesday night bro-down with the beautiful Adele."
What could it mean? They're recording an album together? They're best buds? The ancient aliens who built them thousands of years ago left this image as a clue to show us how to put them together to create a all-powerful pop star that will unleash a ladder to the next dimension? Perhaps. [ Instagram]
- RIP Vince Camuto. The designer and Nine West founder died on Wednesday after struggling with cancer. Jessica Simpson, whose fashion empire Camuto helped launch, posted on Instagram after his death: "Thank you, Vince, for the humble power that has taken me everywhere. You are my mentor, my family, the creator of all my dreams. I will forever walk in your shoes…you made them. #brokenheart" [Instagram/NYDN]
- This is pretty cool! Some tourists in Philadelphia were doing what every goddamn tourist in Philadelphia does aka running up the famed Rocky steps when they ran into none other than Rocky himself, Sylvester Stallone. This all leads me to wonder—is he just lurking around those steps waiting to run into to tourists to surprise them? Is he in the Sally Field in Soap Dish pretending to be spotted in the mall by a stranger part of his life now? [People]
- The body of Zsa Zsa Gabor's daughter Francesca Hilton will finally be laid to rest. [Radar]
- Jennifer Garner is over extreme Hollywood diets. [Huff Po Celebrity]
- Always full of shit Russell Crowe, Australia's Boy King, and Ryan Gosling went gaga over meeting LAPD Chief Charlie Beck. [TMZ]
- Chrissy Teigen went to the hospital in a fancy dress and full makeup. I feel like there is an Obamacare joke in here somewhere. [E Online]
- Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow have both made whoopee on airplanes but probably not to each other. [Ellen/Just Jared]
- Putting Paula Abdul on So You Think You Can Dance might be one of the greatest ideas in the history of television. Jason Derulo will also join the show. [DListed]
- Glee's Melissa Benoist is your new Supergirl. [Perez Hilton]
We saw Rock of Ages in Vegas. I think. Anyway, it was awesome.
Image via Getty.