People Are Pissed at Cosmopolitan for Calling the Kardashians 'America's First Family'

Illustration for article titled People Are Pissed at Cosmopolitan for Calling the Kardashians 'America's First Family'

Ok, so. Out of all the myriad worldwide injustices readily available for consumption via the reading device of your choosing, we have elected to be outraged about a trolly editorial decision made by Cosmopolitan magazine. The print edition.

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Specifically, people are incensed because all six Kardashian Kweens have been posed beautifully together in crisp white shirts, with the identifier “America’s First Family” embossed in pink near their perfectly sleek heads.

While it’s easy to see why the Internet peanut gallery would interpret this choice of words as a shady dismissal of the similarly perfect Obama clan, I choose to believe that the headline is a sly, jokey reference to the phenomenon wherein teens scramble to comment “first” as soon as their fave posts content to social media. Being “first” to acknowledge a tweet or an Instagram is a sign of utter devotion, something the Kardashians undoubtedly inspire in droves.

Actually, I rescind my annoyance: that legendary women’s Bible Cosmopolitan is still commanding attention for featuring “controversial” cover stars is actually pretty sweet. Also, one thing that everyone seems to forget when screaming about how terrible the Kardashians are is that they all seem super nice and friendly????? Like, I’m not expecting them to welcome me with open arms if ever I bumped into them in Calabasas or anything (why haven’t they renamed it Kalabasas, by the by), but I’m almost certain that the brood isn’t comprised of the demonic hell spawn that internet commenters make them out to be.

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The whole fam looks stunning, Khloé in particular. Something about her just screams “unique,” but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Finally, #WHERESROB?


Image via Twitter.

Contact the author at helenbholmes@gmail.com.

DISCUSSION

ASmallTurnip
A Small Turnip

I’ve never seen any of the Kardashian shows (I think I saw a sneaker ad with Kim and Kris once?), so I have no personal stake in the War of Kardashian Independence. But I will confess this: the deep, bubbling, effervescent joy I feel when watching people LOSE THEIR FUCKING MINDS about this family is profound. It’s such a wonderful, sustaining delight to witness folks getting outraged about utterly inconsequential shit. It’s like watching my tabby cat have a fur-prickling hissy fit whenever a bluejay flaps past her window. No stakes. Galactic hate. A joy forever.