Paris Says Goodbye to Your Annoying and Dangerous Love Locks

Illustration for article titled Paris Says Goodbye to Your Annoying and Dangerous Love Locks

If you were a lovestruck tourist who visited Paris and attached a lock on the Pont des Arts bridge to symbolize your undying devotion to your sweetheart, your token of affection is about to be destroyed. The popular trend of placing locks on the famous bridge will come to an end on Monday, when close to a million padlocks will be removed from the site. Metal railings that attracted the locks will first be replaced with paintings, followed by glass panels. Passersby who feel compelled to declare their love with some passionate graffiti, prepare to be duped: the transparent paneling will be easy to clean. Your romantic litter is not welcome.

Last year, the massive weight of the locks caused part of the bridge to collapse. The city responded to the safety issue with a selfie campaign, but that didn’t last, according to USA Today. Of course it didn’t, people need a cool story to go with that selfie. Guess everyone will have to find a new cheesy thing to do. What happened to a good ol’ fashioned gesture of carving your initials on a tree? Actually, don’t do that either. Love letter? Mixtape? Skywriting? As for the old locks, what will come of them? Maybe they can melt them all into one gigantic, corny-ass heart.

Image via Getty.

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Bears for President

Stuff like this always reminds me of the time when I went to London. I wanted to visit Abbey Road and did and saw all the messages written on the gates outside and then thought, you know, why don’t I take my shoes off and walk across the road.

And then I got right to the right part of the block and these were these tourists in the middle of the road taking a picture of the studio, I guess they wanted a wide shot, and a very angry motorist honked at ‘em and I realized, oh yeah, people who live around here...they probably deal with assholes like me all day.

So I ran across Abbey Road, barefoot. I kind of stubbed my toe too. The lesson is, never do anything or go anywhere.