On Killing Grandmas

On Wednesday, Twitter-famous stay-at-home mom Bethany S. Mandel wrote that we could “call [her] a grandma killer,” but she would not be kept from museums, zoos, restaurants, or dentists simply because going to those places could be deadly.

In light of that permission, call her a grandma killer we did. Here is a list of headlines the Jezebel staff brainstormed in Slack, but did not use:

• Self-Styled Grandma Killer Not That Great at Staying at Home After All
• Will No One Think of the Dentists?
• Grandmas? Not Under Local Woman’s Watch!
• Of Course Your Grandma Got Killed by Someone Named “Bethany”
• Meet the Woman Who Would Kill Your Grandma for a Trip to Applebees
• What It Actually Means to Kill a Grandma
• The Grandma Killer and Us
• All Along, the Grandma Killer Was You
• When Grandmas Are Killed
• Who Is the Grandma Killer? Here’s Everything You Need to Know
• What We Really Mean When We Say We Want to Kill Grandmas
• What We Talk About When We Talk About Killing Grandmas
• 10 Badass Ways to Kill a Grandma
• The Staggering Disappointment of the Murderous Grandma
• The Unbearable Anxiety of Killing a Grandma
• All She Wanted a Trip to the Zoo. Even If It Meant Killing Grandmas.
• In the Age of Coronavirus, Some Consider Killing Grandmas
• Why Some Want to Kill Grandmas, and Others Don’t, Explained
• What the Grandma Killer Says About Millennial Burnout
• After Grandma Died, Some Experts Argue It Was Murder
• Gender Parity in the Work of Killing Grandmas? Not So Fast, Say Some
• Are We In the Golden Age of Grandma Killing?
• Killing Grandmas Is Praxis
• The Radical Gesture of Killing Grandmas
• Grandma KILLER—Revealed!
• This MOM Wants to Kill Your Grandma
• The Gendered Anxiety of Killing Grandma
• Here’s Why I Choose to Stay at Home AND Be a Grandma Killer
• Killing My Grandma Triggered My Imposter Syndrome
• I Killed My Grandma and I Won’t Apologize
• Girl, Stop Apologizing for Killing Your Grandma
• Sick SAHM Caught Chopping Down Grandma’s Coronavirus Cakes
• The Emotional Labor of Killing Grandma
• Ten Easy Ways to Kill Grandma At Home
• Perhaps Grandma Always Deserved Death
• This Was Always About Killing Grandmas
• Why I Left New York: I Killed My Grandma
• The Unbearable White Feminism of Killing Grandma
• This One Trick (Killing Grandma) Will Make Your Man Go Nuts
• All This Talk About Killing Grandmas, But What About Grandpas?
• Killing Grandma But Not Grandpa Proves the Patriarchy Is Alive and Well in America