Olivia Newton-John Is Not Dying, Says Healthy Looking Olivia Newton-John

Olivia Newton-John is fighting breast cancer (for the third time), but she’d like to take a moment to respond to reports that she’s on the verge of kicking the bucket: She’s not.

“The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated,” she said in a video posted to Twitter. Indeed, far from dead, she looks resplendent on what appears to be a sunlit patio, concluding her message with a bright smile and a cheerful “Happy New Year!” Newton-John announced in 2017 that she’d been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer that had spread to her back, which is obviously not great news. But several Australian media outlets picked up a Radar Online story claiming that a “ravaged” Newton-John was “clinging to life,” and that her “bodily functions appear to be shutting down.” The story also cited several doctors, none of whom have treated Newton-John personally, who insisted on the seriousness of her condition. “She almost certainly is going to die!” exclaimed one in what reads a lot like glee. A rep for Newton-John called the report “crap.”

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Still, imagine fighting cancer and having to take time out of your day to put on a scarf and explain to the world that you’re still alive and it would be super chill if maybe we could avoid making baseless comments about “bodily functions” for now?

In better news, Newton-John is taking advantage of the wonders of medical marijuana, saying last year that it “helped her greatly” with pain and inflammation. May she continue to sit on her patio with her weed, and blissfully ignore her newsfeed.

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