OKCupid Dick: 'I'm the Most Published Person On the Planet'

Pro tip: if you’re a semi-well-known writer and you want to act like a total fucking asshole on a dating website, try to avoid bringing up your status as a semi-well-known writer as you’re berating a woman for not responding positively to your overtures. It just makes you look worse.

Our latest in one of infinity installments in Men Behaving Terribly on Dating Sites comes via a tipster, who spotted this OKCupid gem on Reddit today. Our Romeo begins his soliloquy by asking a woman if she’s a “dirty girl.” She questions what led him to believe that she is a “dirty girl.” He calls her a “pretend writer.” Things escalate quickly. Their communication ends with him issuing this screed:

You’re a fucking quasi-literate moron. Meanwhile, I’m the most published person on the planet. Take your meds, see your therapist, work on being less of a moron. I’m taping a national radio segment later today. What are you doing today, moron? A writer fucking first. What a joke. You cannot name a magazine I have not been in. And you — a writer fucking first. Are you even kidding yourself? Being a writer means that’s your job, that’s your income.

Rude.

I’m doubtful that he’s the most published writer “on the planet,” as that title belongs to the genius behind all of those scratchings of “FUCK” on classroom furniture. But if he was even in the top 10 “most published people on the planet, that’d be pretty impressive.” Not half as impressive as his OKCupid tantrum, but you win some, you lose some.