OK So the Royals News Cycle Is Officially Boring Again

Illustration for article titled OK So the Royals News Cycle Is Officially Boring Again
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Pretty crazy year (and change) for Royals coverage! Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepped down from their senior roles within the British royal family and moved to Meghan’s home state of California (after a brief stopover in Canada), they did that tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey where they aired a bunch of Harry’s family’s racist dirty laundry, Meghan announced that she’s expecting another child, Prince Philip fucking died...like I said! Pretty crazy!


But now? It’sa boringccini bambino. (That’s Italian for “It’s a little boring.” I’m reading Ferrante.) Despite Page Six’s best efforts, the well for Royals! Drama! simply could not be running drier. Like, who cares if Meghan and Harry are now listed below Prince Edward on the royal family’s website? They literally don’t play a public role anymore on behalf of the Crown, so honestly this makes sense?

My favorite recent example of the press trying to find tension where there is none is this Page Six story about Queen Elizabeth’s planned “Platinum Jubilee” celebrations for next year in which a bunch of unnamed insiders confirm that yes, Harry and Meghan are “absolutely” invited to the party. Tentative confirmation that the couple will probably go to a party that won’t happen until a literal year from now?? My jaw could not be FARTHER from the floor.

Freelance journalist (GQ, W, Esquire, elsewhere), here on weekends


chocolate covered raisons d'être

Maybe this is an opportune moment in time to stop talking about them completely.

Doh! Dammit! I forgot there’s always ample time to make a buck off all their royal carcasses somehow. Let the circus continue!