The sun rose this morning. The tide came in and out. And Whoopi Goldberg unnecessarily defended the offensive behavior of some idiot.

To the surprise of exactly no one, Whoopi Goldberg plopped herself down on the The View stage this morning and proceeded to defend Kelly “Nepotism Is the Only Reason I’m Here” Osbourne after she wondered out loud on live television: “If you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilets, Donald Trump?

Via the Hollywood Reporter:

“The point she was actually trying to make was that Donald Trump’s stance on immigration will only end up hurting the people that Donald Trump is counting on. I think that’s what she was trying to say,” Goldberg said. “One of the things that happens on live TV is you try to get your point in and you try to hit it and you sometimes step in dog doo. It does not make you a racist. … Sometimes your head works faster than your mouth. It happens.”

So I have an interesting solution: Perhaps if you don’t have the skill of being able to properly translate what you’re thinking in your brain to what comes out of your mouth with some ease and consistency, DON’T TALK ABOUT SHIT ON LIVE TELEVISION.

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This follows Osbourne’s own apology where she helpfully stated: “I will take responsibility for my poor choice of words but I will not apologize for being a racist as I am NOT.”

Here’s the crazy thing, folks—and stay with me: You can say racist things and not be a evil, abject racist! It is possible, my friends, but it requires a bit more than the simplistic thinking that The View burns through like jet fuel.

I don’t think anybody actually thinks that Kelly Osbourne hates Latinos and thinks that every single one of them spends their days cleaning toilets. But what they do think is that she’s ignorant and sheltered and doesn’t possess a variety of experiences with or understanding of Latinos in this country well enough to speak on issues concerning them. The result of that ignorance and lack of experience is that she’s probably going to say something stupid and racist.

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Word choice does matter and Kelly Osbourne chose some piss-poor ones. So while we’re all pretty sure that’s not exactly what she meant, that wasn’t the effect of her words and she should feel bad about it! And she should also understand that the group of people she offended have a right to be offended and don’t have to accept her dumb apology because golly gee, does she really have the sads over all this.

Raven-Symoné, a colorful bubble that learned how to talk, added her own defense of Osbourne: “I don’t think she’d be a racist if she was friends with me,” Raven-Symoné said.

I’m just going to leave that one alone Miss Raven “Colorless” Symoné. However, I will say: RAVEN, SHUT UP, because that needs to fed into her system on an IV drip.

Because the clown car wasn’t completely full, Sherri Shepherd leapt to Kelly Osbourne’s defense on Twitter, after criticizing her. Shepherd explained that she’s going to cut Osbourne some slack because she herself knows what it’s like to say incredibly stupid garbage on national television, which, truly, you can’t argue with.

Whoopi Goldberg’s need to defend clowns like Kelly Osbourne is almost pathological. Kelly Osbourne fucked up, but you know what? She’s going to be fine! Because white people don’t really care when white people say racist shit in this country. They’ll forget about it and Kelly will be free to do whatever it is she spends her days doing.

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In related news, Nicolle Wallace has officially turned down an offer to continue appearing on The View as a contributor after they cut her full-time position, presumably because she’s had quite enough of these crazy bitches.


Contact the author at kara.brown@jezebel.com .

Image via Getty.

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