Of Course Dolce & Gabbana Sponsored Kourtney Kardashian’s Entire Wedding

Following two practice weddings, a few problematic exes, and a plethora of slightly pornographic posts on social media, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker finally said “I do” for good (for real this time!) in a three-day Dolce and Gabbana bonanza in Portofino, Italy—on World Goth Day, nonetheless!

The Kardashian kontent machine worked overtime from Friday to Sunday, exhaustively documenting every opulent detail of these sacred nuptials. And chances are, by the time the couples’ devilishly handsome and probable sex-pest pastor proclaimed, “You may now lick the bride,” you’d already taken note of the fact that the infamous fashion house had stamped its gaudy label on every square inch of the proceedings—from the ensembles of each and every family member to the cushions on the speedboats that carried them to and from the ceremony.

D&G, a brand that’s survived attempted cancelations at least three times, sponsored the soiree in what one can imagine was quite the lucrative deal, said a Daily Mail report. For the last three days, the entire KarJenner family, outfitted almost entirely in exclusive garments from D&G’s archives, repeatedly took to Instagram to boast everything from the brand’s polychromatic place settings at the reception to its line of plush pillows aboard the fleet ferrying them around the village. And yes, an entire D&G pop-up, deemed the Galleria d’Arte, even made an appearance. The shop conveniently materialized on the market square piazza beside Portofino’s harbor three days before the holy matrimony, just in case any of the family’s friends forgot to buy a gift.

A Dolce & Gabbana “insider” confirmed to MailOnline that not only was the debut of the shop “entirely due to the wedding,” but the brand’s designers, Stefano Dolce and Domenico Gabbana, were closely involved in the planning of the wedding weekend—so involved, in fact, that they also loaned their $60 million superyacht to the family.

Paparazzi photos of the extensive preparation and proceedings revealed scores of staffers milling around Castello Brown, as the now-betrothed couple jumped from the bow of the gargantuan boat and repeatedly touched each other’s butts—because nothing says la dolce vita better than groping your spouse-to-be in full view of your family, friends, and small children. All while the likely underpaid workers did the back-breaking labor of lifting leopard print upholstery and Catholic iconography atop a steep hill to a 16th-century military stronghold.

Scores of users on social media appeared to be appalled at the garish display of wealth, PDA, and worst of all, blatantly branded content. If you ask me though, it’s actually quite fitting that the world’s second most un-cancellable family—just behind the Royals, of course—partnered with the bulletproof brand. In case you find the fashion world every bit as frivolous as it is, Dolce and Gabbana carries a rich history of racism, homophobia, and the like.

Just four years ago, the brand posted a series of videos depicting an Asian model attempting to eat Italian cuisine like pizza with chopsticks. After one Instagram user vented about the campaign online, Stefano Gabbana himself allegedly slid into her DMs, writing: “China Ignorant Dirty Smelling Mafia.” That same year, Gabbana also commented “She’s so ugly!!!” on an Instagram compilation of Selena Gomez’s red carpet looks.

In 2017, after the pair received backlash for their continued support of then-First Lady, Melania Trump, they released, “#Boycott Dolce & Gabbana” t-shirts that sold for $245, seemingly made with the explicit purpose of trolling critics. One year earlier, they rolled out a $2,000 shoe called the “Slave Sandal,” and in 2015, they openly opposed adoption by gay couples. Perhaps most egregious of all was Gabbana’s choice to attend a party in blackface in 2013.

Even after issuing apologies for many of the aforementioned offenses, the brand still sued Diet Prada—an Instagram account famous for holding public figures in pop culture accountable for varying harms—for its posts about them in 2019. The $600 million defamation case is ongoing, and has forced Diet Prada to create a GoFundMe to cover their legal expenses.

I shouldn’t have to list the Kardashian’s varying misdeeds to prove the family has some stuff in common with the designer duo. And though they all looked the part of a movie mafia family, here’s hoping the only crime from this weekend was being tacky as hell.