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Obviously Justin Bieber Is Doing a Crocs Collab?

Submit to Crocs much like Hailey Bieber is submitting to her husband’s (and Jesus’s) tender touch
Submit to Crocs much like Hailey Bieber is submitting to her husband’s (and Jesus’s) tender touch
Illustration: Frazier Harrison (Getty Images)

Nothing about this information is surprising or especially revelatory, so let’s get it out of the way first: Justin Bieber has likely announced, in the vaguest way possible, that soon he will be dropping a collaboration with Crocs. He did so via the following Instagram post:

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I’d argue that this could also be the aftermath of a terrible crime in which a person fell into Bieber’s pool, nude but for a pair of Crocs, and then disapparated, leaving nothing but the foam babies in their place. In any case, this is real life and not some B-tier fantasy novel, so this is what’s happening.: a Crocs-llab. A Crocs x Justin Bieber collab will likely sell out immediately, much like the Bad Bunny Crocs did earlier this week, but unlike the Bad Bunny crocs, this Instagram—which is not a confirmation of any sort—caused Crocs stock to go up by 7 percent. Such is the power of Justin Bieber, yes, but also, the power of Crocs.

As a society, we are past the point of Crocs-ery (get it, it’s a joke) when it comes to these goddamn shoes, which are comfortable, come in a variety of colors, and go well with the soft, formless, hypebeast-y leisure that has dominated streetwear for a while now. Crocs featured heavily in Season 1 of quarantine; please don’t make me talk about the “viral” strawberry-print ones that the Strategist has written about as covetable items, I will likely never own them because they have been sold out since May. As we all prepare for the second season of Pandemic: Hell on Earth, people who previously disavowed the Croc as a shoe for them are now succumbing to their siren call. If you were already on the Crocs-wagon prior to their current moment in the sun, bask in the special and specific feeling of knowing that all along, you were right.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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I say this not as a joke: I hope he can eventually have a semi-normal life.