It’s March, but also September, and therefore somehow already Halloween. Normally I’d decry the early arrival of pumpkin merch as more consumer culture fiddling with the calendar, but this whole year has felt like one big jack-o-lantern with a rotten face collapsing on itself, so if anything it’s a nice chance to engage with all the ambient sepulchral feelings nobody has had the space to express.
Crank the Kate Bush, light some candles, full your house with skeleton decor. Knock, knock!
Here’s me, trying to have a nice time!
Here’s another a nice picture of me—and perhaps also you?—considering some stress-induced bad hairstyling decisions. Even if you’re literally wearing sweatpants right now, aren’t you, in a sense, wearing a spooky ghostly white nightgown?
Bring this very specific energy to all your autumnal endeavors!
What terrors await in this house? I don’t know, why don’t you go knock and find out?